The clerk continued, ‘I know you are a new upload; there are lots of little tells - but the biggest and most glaring is that you don’t have a hardware wallet.’ It must have been my slack-jawed expression because without skipping a beat, the clerk lent below the counter and retrieved a briefcase. ‘This is my hardware wallet,’ she explained, and she clicked it open to reveal electronics and pumps breathing life into an aquarium filled with clams.
‘Live clams are the currency here in cyberspace. A hardware wallet keeps them alive. Without a case like this, you have dead clams; utterly worthless. Look, joining the self-help group will make things easier for you.’ The clerk handed me a flyer titled: ‘Newbie Uploads.’
I thanked the clerk and headed toward the exit. As I neared the door, the clerk called after me, ‘Hey! Don’t confuse that group with nudie uploads; that’s a completely different thing.’
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